Sunday, October 21, 2018


i thought i would stop 
i thought when i knew the truth everything will be back to normal
i thought that would make my heart relieved

it doesnt

the pain still come through 
the tears still hasnt dried
the fear still haunt

all my friends keep yelling 
telling me he aint no good
but i cant
im the one who felt joy
im the one who love
im the one who knew

i keep telling my heart
it will get better soon
hang in on there
i keep putting bandaid all over the scratches 
telling them that they will heal


Friday, October 19, 2018


she longed for the old him. one who would greet her morning cheerfully and reminded her always that she is loved. because he knows he loves her fully that he doesnt even know how and why and he doesnt know Allah's plan but he just loves her very much.

she longed for the old him. one who would look at her in the eyes and told her that she's beautiful. even sometimes he got mad when she's being extra in her make up since it could attract other guy. she used to just laugh it off  and told him that it's just him that she loves.

she longed for the old him. one who would turn off his play station when she called. she will be sorry but he would just tell her that he's done already with his game though she knows that he just started. at that time, he didnt know that she smiled and whispered thank Allah for hundredth of time for finding him to her.

she longed for the old him. one who would hold her hands whenever they were, be it in campus hall, mall, busy street, he doesnt mind. when she would rest her head in his shoulder inside a car, his hands would stroke her cheeks and plafully pinch it to mock her chubby cheeks. she would always got mad and tell him that she doesnt have chubby cheeks and they would argue and laugh it together.

she longed for the old him. one who would worry all the time. when she hasnt replied his message for half or an hour. he wouldnt hesitate to call her multiple times just to make sure that she is alright.

she longed for the old him. when he made her feels that she's needed. she wouldn't mind if he calls in 3 in the morning and he told her that something's bothering his mind. she wouldnt mind if he called her in the morning even she has to get ready for work. it is okay baby work can wait but when someone is upset, that can not be waited. so she wait. until he told her all of his mind. she was happy because she's needed and would be more than happy to help him. but all she could do was just giving him advices and some words to sooth his mind. and she couldnt thank him more to make her feel that way.

she longed for the old him. one who would make her the happiest person on earth for having such a care partner who would never stop nagging her to drink a lot of water since she always forget to have one, to eat thrice a day on time so that her maag wouldnt bother her, having vitamins on a daily basis so that she could be healthy for her busy schedule all day, and to use face mask when she's riding with ojek online since a lot of drivers have been texting her after the ride.

she longed for the old him. one who would look sad and upset when it is time for them to be apart after campus time or after a date. one who would get all excited to meet her on weekend just because meeting her on campus 5 days a week was not enough. one who plan a future for them.

she longed for the old him. who would never ruin her.

clearing some dust

hi. halo.

excuse me, is this the blog of a 23 year old girl (still a girl, no?) who used to love blabbering all her activities est. 2011?

omg it's been A WHILE (it's just appropriate to use capslock since it's been that long ok?)
hi i'm really sorry for neglecting you for almost three years but i really miss you.
i can't believe i used to make this blog as my diary back then, to tell how i was doing all day everyday and yadda yadda (still dont understand on why i used this words)
i'm 23 years old now just in case you're wondering (since my profile still show my age as 19 and im still struggling to find a way to edit that)
i'm alright i'm doing fine --> well, this always been my mantra this past few days hehe this past few weeks have been a little rough on me but it's okay i'm hanging on :)

um i want to tell you a little reccap:
2016 : i work as an Administration Officer in an insurance company and still work there (wow) been planning to find a new job since i feel like i dont develop much there but still struggling to find a new one wish me luck :)

2017 : i continued my study to get a bachelor degree  in Marketing Communication Universitas Bakrie. met a lot of my friends from broadcasting class and made a lot of new friends also from different uni. it was a really fun and new experience for me! i work from 8 to 5 and study from 7 to 9. you know at first i was really tired from working in morning to studying again at night like it really drained my energy. but as i got used to it, i really cant wait to meet 5 PM since i will be meeting my friends at campus. and of course i cant wait to meet my boyfriend there! hehe.

2018 : I GRADUATED! cant stop thanking Allah for this because the struggle is real my friend. thesis is really a piece of work. balancing work and thesis life is not easy especially when your supervisor lecture is also studying to get her master in Jogja and you can only meet her once in 2 weeks *back roll* i have to tell you i got a lot of drama in getting this degree. from having to change supervisor lecture  twice since our schedule cant match properly, changing title for billionth time, late seminar proposal whch got me stressed and cant stop crying in office hour (thank god i managed to go to park instead of my work cubicle that day. and oh thanks to Nei my bestest work partner ever for her bear hug that day love you!) but Allah is good. i got better and better. from all the late work, suddenly all my stuff got eased up. i can chase my thesis deadline on time (eventho i still got some drama in the process). and alhamdulillah i could attend my graduation at Oct 9th :)

i'm currenly reading a blog by Nara Lea and somehow i got so inspired of her positiveness and braveness to face all her problems. actually i knew her from twitter and i just know that she used to be famous from and after reading all her positive answers, i check her blog and i miss my blog also :( so that's probably one of reasons i'm checking my blog again.

ok then let's stop here since i'm thinking of making a new post again *productive*
til next time.

Friday, January 2, 2015

the stories of 2k14

hehe i know i'm sorry. i'm sorry for abandoning you, my dearest blog. it's been so long since the last time i checked on you. ok let's just get to the point. don't be mad at me, k? i have a bunch of stories that i'd like to share to you. it's too much i cant even think where will i start. my college life is good. AWESOME actually. i learned a lot in this 3rd term. we got new subject, new lecturer, and new experiences. how about the tasks? oh you don't need to ask honey, i have LOTS of them!

let's just start. 

i have 3 production subjects in this term which really driving me crazyyy. there's this task when we have to make an advertisement for final exam (you kno i'm a broadcasting student, no?) oh why i used 'we' instead of 'myself'? because we made it on a team. there are 10 persons in my team including me. after having hard times discussing about what ad we should make, finally we got one final decission to make: a public service advertisement about "Mother's Day". the storyline is a bit cliche but we make sure that the DOP is different. we need some properties, foodies, find the perfect talent, and even, we rented an appartement! this has been my first 'real-est' production i have ever been made (in high school, i made a lot of production too. but not as serious as this one. oh u didn't trust me? go check

ok the production was going pretty good actually, until we got a problem (like what they said, "be careful with calm water"). after we shoot all the scenes we need, we checked all of them but we realized one scene has lost! we checked the memory and the laptop back and forth, but none has found. we even installed a software which (says of my friend) could find the file that has been removed, and after progressing it in the very long time, we did it! we found the file that we need! but unfortunately, the file is already broken and can not be fixed:( one of my friend who has a responsibility of that file (bcs he is the one who move the file) got panick and apologized many times at us. of course we forgave him! and after discussing it tiredly, my friend who is a director of the team, decided to re-take the scene. the lost scene is the one we shot in the appartment, and that is another problem. the appartment that we need is the same with the one we used before. but we've got a problem bcs the appartment has already booked with someone and we have to re-schedule to find the un-booked day and also re-schedule the time with our talent (the talent is our junior and he has class to enter too). and that was the hectic moment lol.

**what we learned: Always make a second plan. Don't be too panick bc it won't help anything unless making it more complited. 

and finally, we proudly give you our public service advertisement:

Konflik, Cinta, dan Rindu (Untuk Ibu) (i swear i tried to upload it many times but it always failed. oh and don't forget to hit Like k?)

other stories. not so long ago my whole family went to Puncak and have a family gathering a.k.a arisan hihi. and what i mean by a whole family is MY WHOOOLE family like everyone is coming. the weather was chilly but nice. we chatted at each other talk about everything, laughed and laughed, and eat anything. i really love gathering with all of them especially with my cousins at my age. oh and this happened just 2 days before the final exam start. holycrap? no. i have a lot of funnnn.

that was the story BEFORE exam. i have another one AFTER it too. i went to Anyer the day after the final exams end, which means BROADCASTING'S HOLIDAYY. it was makrab a.k.a malam keakraban actually, when all the newly broadcast student (our junior) made an event and invite the seniors to 'know' them well. it's like making a new link too. and this time they made it in Anyer, so we, as the seniors, went there together yeaay! 

our happy faces after final exams #sakitjiwawaku

another. i just watched 
Supernova: Ksatria, Putri, adan Bintang Jatuh like 2 weeks ago with my friend. and the movie was great. i lovee it. the movie is based on a book by Dee. the storyline is amazing, a bit complicated if you haven't read the book but you won't regret watching it! and last night i watched Snow White and The Huntstman like for a hundred times. i just can't get enough of chris hemsworth omggg<3<3 *re-watch again*

all above was some of my AW-some 2k14 yaaay

ps. if you're curious where i was at new years eve, i was at my bed. sleeping for a yearr lol.

happy new year 2015

Saturday, January 4, 2014


I finally managed to get back into this, writing post in my blog. I know my blog is not as good as Brown Platform by Anastasia Siantar nor Weirdo In Pink by Jessica Xu (so there wouldn't be any of readers who will wait excitedly for my next post) but i kinda have nice feeling after writing down all activities i had during the day of uni or had some gossips with the girls hehe please mind some of my random blabs ppl.

Well, let's start with the most popular topic these days..... NEW YEAR! Yesssh it's the newly fresh 2014 people, when i can't sleep all nights in my room because of the sounds of fireworks wherever i hear around (sounds so anti-social huh?) Haha no lah i'm not that nerds. I just had no idea where to go in that traffic-everywhere kind of time. So i just stayed at home and watched some movies like 101dalmatians, step up, and ate lots and lots of boiled shell and stuffs. Oh and i sent my 'happy new year guys' voice notes to bestiest at 00.00 (it was really 00.00, i managed to check my watch twice before sent them) talking about the new year is not complete without rewatch the memory of last year. 2013 was great for me! It gave me lots of new experience as if the first time i knew how it is to be a college student, lived in dorm by myself (homesick is sux), used train to go to uni, new class new friends new college exam... they are new experience for me and i went through all of those fear-of-the-first-time succesfully well yay!! And of course all the best moments in high school were there too :(:( national exam, solidarity, graduation and all high school's stuffs are the best! I mean BEST, no one can beat the feeling of high school students #scored

There are so much things i learned from 2013 and hopefully 2014 will teach me better *finger crossed* HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014 pretty people! Let's hope things will get better this time ;)

Yours truly,

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

currently Audrey doing

here are things i want to share about 'what things i'm currently doing this month'

watching THE HEIRS, a korean drama which easily makes me fall in love. there is lee min ho playing there, how not to love? this drama is what keep me alive each weeks just to wait the website to upload every episodes on thursday and friday and download it super fast. oh my i'm madly in love.

read novels. oh c'mon who on earth a person that able to stay a week without (minimal) 2 or 3 novels? they must be an alien. just read the novel of Dahlian with Andai Kau Tahu titled on it and... it's great.

doodle and doodle. is welcoming my newest hobby! yeap i love doodling right now. um it's not a really new thing for me since i love to draw manga (characters in japan comic) when i was on the 5th grade of elementary school. but yea i can't call this a daily routine because i just do it when i'd love to (but i do have a drawing book which is fulfilled with my drawing, if you're interest to know) well... these days, what i love to draw is clothes. tons of clothes. i draw a lot of it and show them to my bff's, surprisingly they love it! they even asked me to take major of fashion design instead of comm (meh, my old dream...) but i know it just because i'm their friends or they're my friends so they give me a bit excessive compliment (even i can't stand my heart flutter by hearing that. my loves!!) i really want to show you my drawing but but my brother took the laptop to school and i'm too lazy to take data cable and connect it to my comp instead of laptop heheh.

into pink. don't know why but i think i'm just into pink-ish already. i bought a soft pink hard case for my phone days ago and.. it suits! *love struck*

chicken. why chicken? not rabbit or hamster or puppies or any other cute animals? no no i'm not turned into animals, but i'm just chicken. i think i'm having paranoid here. this happen a few days ago, on thursday i remember. after class, me and my friends make a round and as girls would do if they're around is gossiping! we talked about any-thing. until suddenly, one of my friends talked about some urban legend she ever read in a blog. and it spread to horror movies in indo and other creepy country. and ugh damn it i can't stand in my dorm and finally we decided to sleepover at one of my friends house. i thought it would be a while that spooky story scares me but it still! until now, o em gee i can't even go to toilet without being accompanied. sometimes, the curiousity of myself come and i can't help it. but it kills me.... literally. and i make a promise to myself to NOT listening to one of spooky stories ever!!! at least until this paranoid gone away. shoo shooo

eat and eat and eat. every time i stay at home, i feel hungry like all the time! and it just like connection between grandma and her grand daughter because my grandma always cook delish dish everyday YAY! blame that cuddle weather which stimulate my tummy to roar often hehe. oh, but yesterday and (seems like) today is gonna be sunny (sunblock where is sunblock).

listening to Mr. Right by A rocket To the Moon. idk but i love when it repeatedly says girlfriend, boyfriend (is it just me?)

enough said for today. ciao.

Friday, October 25, 2013

let me give your heart a break

hola! just wanna tell you that i miss blogging so damn much. been so busy with stuffs from college *clears my throat* hehe i'm a college student, remember? i'm currently having midterm right now and i have videography and creative thinking tomorrow, wish me luck!! *crossing fingers* and ugh this creative thinking's task is about to freaking me out. well, not that hard actually but i just um what to call this, well idk i'm just having stress tehee. i dont really into my group honestly but yeaa i should, shouldn't i? mind my words i'm just over-brainstorming. wish me luck!!!! hey i'm having instagram right now, go check and follow audreyandt 
uh oh and my sister is having her ner new hobby which is talking to 'Talking Tom', which is an app when you can talk and he will talk what you talked to him and you'll go talking each other. lol. what an explanation.

have a nice day, buddies!

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