don't grow up. it's a trap!

good news! i've passed those mess' (re: national exam) a week ago and it's a relief i feel inside my heart now. WHOPS not all relief. i haven't know what kind of score i'm gonna see in my report card of last semester yet. and well, i wanna share about that famous national exam in this year, 2013. i thought this is the worst nat-exam that have ever been happened in indo (if you know what i mean, indonesians). we have 20 package kind of questions which means we really are NOT allowed to cheat with the others. ups it's not the end until there, the question and answer sheet are in one package so to answer the question, we have to tear it up first. i mean, oh c'mon! 20 package of questions is more than enough to mess our brain and heart all up and down... but it didn't make matter since i've passed it (hopefully) well and swear to god  i'm going to enjoy my gonna-be-loooooong holiday now :) *thanks for all the prayers dear readers*

oh well, and today is zella's birthday! she is turning 18th today and i'm like 'oh c'mon dude, i just took a photo for my identity card of legitimatilly an indonesian and she is already 18!' time flew too fast baby. but after all, i had a good day. we ate pizzas and blew the candles (not we but she is) and walked and walked and sang in karaoke and back home. i gave her my handmade as a gift and i guessed she likes it *glad* can't wait for the next good day :)

but i feel like there's something missing here. i miss my all classmates like so much. we finally ended up being 12th graders. we are not required to study in our class anymore. no more homeworks, no more cheat, no more laugh in class, no more nag from teachers, no more fight, no more. oh so sad :,( before this, we want everything goes fastly, just for not doing assignments, studying, and yadda yadda. but after all have passed, we want it back again (not we maybe but especially me). i miss all the time, the memories. yap the memories. it will only be memories to keep in mind, will never be replayed. oh shittttt i hate to grow up. i've ever seen someone's quote said "don't grow up, kid. it's a trap" and i just realized it's a true. yes it is absolutely a trap :(

p.s:

things learned

i learned many things today. let's check it one by one.

first, don't be a mushroom. don't be a parasite. they can't live without another creature they suck into. well, you don't know how it feels when you wasted most of your time just to wait that person but that person left you, with anothers. you really give your honest trust for that person, but it's like 'who cares?' sigh.it is dissapointing. really. and that remains only regret. 'why didn't i go first?' 'why that person left me?' 'why should i wait?' that's only the left question in mind.

second, life changes and so does people. i knew this since loooooong time ago but just felt it now. i have that one friend that i gave my trust into. let's just call that person Y (bcs it's not my X :b)  i shared my stories, laughed together, and more. but now Y changed. not like the old one. not a person i comfort with anymore. i feel like afraid if Y beside me. it scares me a lot if i talk with Y. i'm afraid if Y offended by my words and turned to attack me with more spicy words, when i didn't really mean it (just kidding). i'm a sensitive (told ya) i really hate it if i had that friend who doesn't like me and didn't give me the whole reason why. i'm gonna wondering evvvverythin' abt my manner with him/her in mind. 'what have i done?' 'did i do something wrong?' 'shit i did it' 'what should i do now?' 'everyone must be hate me bcs of it' 'ugh stupid audrey' and since i'm not good at apologizing, that'll ruin every little sec of my life :( :( i don't wanna be that girl who cries over the smallest things. but if it connected with buddies i love to cuddle with, i'm gonna cry like spongebob when he was being ignored by her grandma.

third, i'm wondering how my college would be if i can't do anything myself . but that really doesn't mean anything since i haven't even graduated from high school lol.



wish me luck!!!
a thinker,
xxx

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konichiwa! it's Ramadhan now and i've done my first fasting pretty well (thanks god). i prayed tarawih today with aisyah, one of my favourites. and just as usual, we talked about many things. and finally we got the point that we are same. we both love a boy (different boy) but we are too ashamed to admit it ahaha *high five*. we dont know how long too keep this feeling or maybe we dont know, should we keep hiding (eventho' its hurt) or saying out about this? any suggest? ;-p

ah skip that. yesterday, me and my friends visited Key. it has been a year he left us. may you rest in peace Key, we'll never forget to send pray for you. we miss him. a lot. it's kinda weird when 2 years ago we still can have together break fasting, but now? all we can do now is just visited him in his peacest place beside god :-)

aand we have a 'big day' tomorrow! wanna know? i'll tell you later okay. it's still a secret hohoho.

oh by the way i want to send apologizes to all of you for my words which is kinda hurting you, my bad act (yayaya i know-_-) and many more. let's celebrate Ramadhan with spread the love and peace by forgive each other. it'll be nice if all of you can forgive me, thank you very much strangersss.

enjoy your limited time folkies
X
drey

randomverse

now playing : hot n cold - katy perry

long time no catch you blog. so sorry. i wanna tell you a bad news. our lovely friend has passed away on jan 14th. he's Rizky Alnaldo or we usually call him Key. i send a big condolances for those who lost him. so sad to know that you left us too fast Key. we wont forget you. you're our best friend. we love you and always pray for you. be rest in peace Key :')

katy perry. i love her for sure. she always look gergeous and im swear i wanna have her as my barbie. a few days ago she came to indonesia for her california dream's tour (am i right?) but so sad i cant reach her in the concerts. congratulations for those who watched her. im so envy with y'all :''''( but dont worry. im still your katy cats, katy! <3 lol i remember a funny story about this. me and my friend, zella told the boys in class that we would watched katy perry concert and you know what? they believe it for sure! ha ha we are a good liar, zel. :-D

oh well and now im gettin bored. bored as hell. i wanna make anything fun but too mager to do anything. weird huh? huf oya! last friday we celebrate our teacher's birthday, miss Ari. we bought blackforrest and made a lil surprise and of course sang 'happy birthday' for her. may you have a blast longlife and a great year ahead miss. we love you <3

i havent take a bath yet. too mager, remember? there are a pile of assignments to do and idk how to start. physics really make me crazy. im too idiot for that lesson. help me to do my homework please. im absolutely a labile insane. my mood is up and down now. i feel so happy now but a second later feel so bored. huf tired being this. amuse me please!!!!!! i need a moodboster rite now. who wants? :-)

thanks for hearing my keluh-resah-kesah-gelisah. have a nice day folks (for me too)
x