soon

i thought i would stop 

i thought when i knew the truth everything will be back to normal

i thought that would make my heart relieved

it doesnt

the pain still come through 

the tears still hasnt dried

the fear still haunt

all my friends keep yelling 

telling me he aint no good

but i cant

im the one who felt joy

im the one who love

im the one who knew

i keep telling my heart

it will get better soon

hang in on there

i keep putting bandaid all over the scratches 

telling them that they will heal

soon

soon

;

she longed for the old him. one who would greet her morning cheerfully and reminded her always that she is loved. because he knows he loves her fully that he doesnt even know how and why and he doesnt know Allah's plan but he just loves her very much.

she longed for the old him. one who would look at her in the eyes and told her that she's beautiful. even sometimes he got mad when she's being extra in her make up since it could attract other guy. she used to just laugh it off  and told him that it's just him that she loves.

she longed for the old him. one who would turn off his play station when she called. she will be sorry but he would just tell her that he's done already with his game though she knows that he just started. at that time, he didnt know that she smiled and whispered thank Allah for hundredth of time for finding him to her.

she longed for the old him. one who would hold her hands whenever they were, be it in campus hall, mall, busy street, he doesnt mind. when she would rest her head in his shoulder inside a car, his hands would stroke her cheeks and plafully pinch it to mock her chubby cheeks. she would always got mad and tell him that she doesnt have chubby cheeks and they would argue and laugh it together.

she longed for the old him. one who would worry all the time. when she hasnt replied his message for half or an hour. he wouldnt hesitate to call her multiple times just to make sure that she is alright.

she longed for the old him. when he made her feels that she's needed. she wouldn't mind if he calls in 3 in the morning and he told her that something's bothering his mind. she wouldnt mind if he called her in the morning even she has to get ready for work. it is okay baby work can wait but when someone is upset, that can not be waited. so she wait. until he told her all of his mind. she was happy because she's needed and would be more than happy to help him. but all she could do was just giving him advices and some words to sooth his mind. and she couldnt thank him more to make her feel that way.

she longed for the old him. one who would make her the happiest person on earth for having such a care partner who would never stop nagging her to drink a lot of water since she always forget to have one, to eat thrice a day on time so that her maag wouldnt bother her, having vitamins on a daily basis so that she could be healthy for her busy schedule all day, and to use face mask when she's riding with ojek online since a lot of drivers have been texting her after the ride.

she longed for the old him. one who would look sad and upset when it is time for them to be apart after campus time or after a date. one who would get all excited to meet her on weekend just because meeting her on campus 5 days a week was not enough. one who plan a future for them.

she longed for the old him. who would never ruin her.

clearing some dust

hi. halo.



excuse me, is this the blog of a 23 year old girl (still a girl, no?) who used to love blabbering all her activities est. 2011?
yes?
HOLA AMIGOS

omg it's been A WHILE (it's just appropriate to use capslock since it's been that long ok?)
hi audreyau.blogspot.com i'm really sorry for neglecting you for almost three years but i really miss you.
wow.
i can't believe i used to make this blog as my diary back then, to tell how i was doing all day everyday and yadda yadda (still dont understand on why i used this words)
i'm 23 years old now just in case you're wondering (since my profile still show my age as 19 and im still struggling to find a way to edit that)
i'm alright i'm doing fine --> well, this always been my mantra this past few days hehe this past few weeks have been a little rough on me but it's okay i'm hanging on :)

um i want to tell you a little reccap:
2016 : i work as an Administration Officer in an insurance company and still work there (wow) been planning to find a new job since i feel like i dont develop much there but still struggling to find a new one wish me luck :)

2017 : i continued my study to get a bachelor degree  in Marketing Communication Universitas Bakrie. met a lot of my friends from broadcasting class and made a lot of new friends also from different uni. it was a really fun and new experience for me! i work from 8 to 5 and study from 7 to 9. you know at first i was really tired from working in morning to studying again at night like it really drained my energy. but as i got used to it, i really cant wait to meet 5 PM since i will be meeting my friends at campus. and of course i cant wait to meet my boyfriend there! hehe.

2018 : I GRADUATED! cant stop thanking Allah for this because the struggle is real my friend. thesis is really a piece of work. balancing work and thesis life is not easy especially when your supervisor lecture is also studying to get her master in Jogja and you can only meet her once in 2 weeks *back roll* i have to tell you i got a lot of drama in getting this degree. from having to change supervisor lecture  twice since our schedule cant match properly, changing title for billionth time, late seminar proposal whch got me stressed and cant stop crying in office hour (thank god i managed to go to park instead of my work cubicle that day. and oh thanks to Nei my bestest work partner ever for her bear hug that day love you!) but Allah is good. i got better and better. from all the late work, suddenly all my stuff got eased up. i can chase my thesis deadline on time (eventho i still got some drama in the process). and alhamdulillah i could attend my graduation at Oct 9th :)

i'm currenly reading a blog by Nara Lea and somehow i got so inspired of her positiveness and braveness to face all her problems. actually i knew her from twitter and i just know that she used to be famous from ask.fm and after reading all her positive answers, i check her blog and i miss my blog also :( so that's probably one of reasons i'm checking my blog again.

ok then let's stop here since i'm thinking of making a new post again *productive*
til next time.
adios!

the stories of 2k14

hi.
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hehe i know i'm sorry. i'm sorry for abandoning you, my dearest blog. it's been so long since the last time i checked on you. ok let's just get to the point. don't be mad at me, k? i have a bunch of stories that i'd like to share to you. it's too much i cant even think where will i start. my college life is good. AWESOME actually. i learned a lot in this 3rd term. we got new subject, new lecturer, and new experiences. how about the tasks? oh you don't need to ask honey, i have LOTS of them!


let's just start. 


i have 3 production subjects in this term which really driving me crazyyy. there's this task when we have to make an advertisement for final exam (you kno i'm a broadcasting student, no?) oh why i used 'we' instead of 'myself'? because we made it on a team. there are 10 persons in my team including me. after having hard times discussing about what ad we should make, finally we got one final decission to make: a public service advertisement about "Mother's Day". the storyline is a bit cliche but we make sure that the DOP is different. we need some properties, foodies, find the perfect talent, and even, we rented an appartement! this has been my first 'real-est' production i have ever been made (in high school, i made a lot of production too. but not as serious as this one. oh u didn't trust me? go check https://www.youtube.com/user/stispeter)

ok the production was going pretty good actually, until we got a problem (like what they said, "be careful with calm water"). after we shoot all the scenes we need, we checked all of them but we realized one scene has lost! we checked the memory and the laptop back and forth, but none has found. we even installed a software which (says of my friend) could find the file that has been removed, and after progressing it in the very long time, we did it! we found the file that we need! but unfortunately, the file is already broken and can not be fixed:( one of my friend who has a responsibility of that file (bcs he is the one who move the file) got panick and apologized many times at us. of course we forgave him! and after discussing it tiredly, my friend who is a director of the team, decided to re-take the scene. the lost scene is the one we shot in the appartment, and that is another problem. the appartment that we need is the same with the one we used before. but we've got a problem bcs the appartment has already booked with someone and we have to re-schedule to find the un-booked day and also re-schedule the time with our talent (the talent is our junior and he has class to enter too). and that was the hectic moment lol.

**what we learned: Always make a second plan. Don't be too panick bc it won't help anything unless making it more complited. 

and finally, we proudly give you our public service advertisement:

Konflik, Cinta, dan Rindu (Untuk Ibu) (i swear i tried to upload it many times but it always failed. oh and don't forget to hit Like k?)


other stories. not so long ago my whole family went to Puncak and have a family gathering a.k.a arisan hihi. and what i mean by a whole family is MY WHOOOLE family like everyone is coming. the weather was chilly but nice. we chatted at each other talk about everything, laughed and laughed, and eat anything. i really love gathering with all of them especially with my cousins at my age. oh and this happened just 2 days before the final exam start. holycrap? no. i have a lot of funnnn.

that was the story BEFORE exam. i have another one AFTER it too. i went to Anyer the day after the final exams end, which means BROADCASTING'S HOLIDAYY. it was makrab a.k.a malam keakraban actually, when all the newly broadcast student (our junior) made an event and invite the seniors to 'know' them well. it's like making a new link too. and this time they made it in Anyer, so we, as the seniors, went there together yeaay! 

our happy faces after final exams #sakitjiwawaku

another. i just watched Supernova: Ksatria, Putri, adan Bintang Jatuh like 2 weeks ago with my friend. and the movie was great. i lovee it. the movie is based on a book by Dee. the storyline is amazing, a bit complicated if you haven't read the book but you won't regret watching it! and last night i watched Snow White and The Huntstman like for a hundred times. i just can't get enough of chris hemsworth omggg<3<3 *re-watch again*

all above was some of my AW-some 2k14 yaaay

ps. if you're curious where i was at new years eve, i was at my bed. sleeping for a yearr lol.




happy new year 2015
xoxo,
drey

2014

I finally managed to get back into this, writing post in my blog. I know my blog is not as good as Brown Platform by Anastasia Siantar nor Weirdo In Pink by Jessica Xu (so there wouldn't be any of readers who will wait excitedly for my next post) but i kinda have nice feeling after writing down all activities i had during the day of uni or had some gossips with the girls hehe please mind some of my random blabs ppl.

Well, let's start with the most popular topic these days..... NEW YEAR! Yesssh it's the newly fresh 2014 people, when i can't sleep all nights in my room because of the sounds of fireworks wherever i hear around (sounds so anti-social huh?) Haha no lah i'm not that nerds. I just had no idea where to go in that traffic-everywhere kind of time. So i just stayed at home and watched some movies like 101dalmatians, step up, and ate lots and lots of boiled shell and stuffs. Oh and i sent my 'happy new year guys' voice notes to bestiest at 00.00 (it was really 00.00, i managed to check my watch twice before sent them) talking about the new year is not complete without rewatch the memory of last year. 2013 was great for me! It gave me lots of new experience as if the first time i knew how it is to be a college student, lived in dorm by myself (homesick is sux), used train to go to uni, new class new friends new college exam... they are new experience for me and i went through all of those fear-of-the-first-time succesfully well yay!! And of course all the best moments in high school were there too :(:( national exam, solidarity, graduation and all high school's stuffs are the best! I mean BEST, no one can beat the feeling of high school students #scored

There are so much things i learned from 2013 and hopefully 2014 will teach me better *finger crossed* HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014 pretty people! Let's hope things will get better this time ;)

Yours truly,
Drey

currently Audrey doing

here are things i want to share about 'what things i'm currently doing this month'

watching THE HEIRS, a korean drama which easily makes me fall in love. there is lee min ho playing there, how not to love? this drama is what keep me alive each weeks just to wait the website to upload every episodes on thursday and friday and download it super fast. oh my i'm madly in love.

read novels. oh c'mon who on earth a person that able to stay a week without (minimal) 2 or 3 novels? they must be an alien. just read the novel of Dahlian with Andai Kau Tahu titled on it and... it's great.

doodle and doodle. is welcoming my newest hobby! yeap i love doodling right now. um it's not a really new thing for me since i love to draw manga (characters in japan comic) when i was on the 5th grade of elementary school. but yea i can't call this a daily routine because i just do it when i'd love to (but i do have a drawing book which is fulfilled with my drawing, if you're interest to know) well... these days, what i love to draw is clothes. tons of clothes. i draw a lot of it and show them to my bff's, surprisingly they love it! they even asked me to take major of fashion design instead of comm (meh, my old dream...) but i know it just because i'm their friends or they're my friends so they give me a bit excessive compliment (even i can't stand my heart flutter by hearing that. my loves!!) i really want to show you my drawing but but my brother took the laptop to school and i'm too lazy to take data cable and connect it to my comp instead of laptop heheh.

into pink. don't know why but i think i'm just into pink-ish already. i bought a soft pink hard case for my phone days ago and.. it suits! *love struck*

chicken. why chicken? not rabbit or hamster or puppies or any other cute animals? no no i'm not turned into animals, but i'm just chicken. i think i'm having paranoid here. this happen a few days ago, on thursday i remember. after class, me and my friends make a round and as girls would do if they're around is gossiping! we talked about any-thing. until suddenly, one of my friends talked about some urban legend she ever read in a blog. and it spread to horror movies in indo and other creepy country. and ugh damn it i can't stand in my dorm and finally we decided to sleepover at one of my friends house. i thought it would be a while that spooky story scares me but it still! until now, o em gee i can't even go to toilet without being accompanied. sometimes, the curiousity of myself come and i can't help it. but it kills me.... literally. and i make a promise to myself to NOT listening to one of spooky stories ever!!! at least until this paranoid gone away. shoo shooo

eat and eat and eat. every time i stay at home, i feel hungry like all the time! and it just like connection between grandma and her grand daughter because my grandma always cook delish dish everyday YAY! blame that cuddle weather which stimulate my tummy to roar often hehe. oh, but yesterday and (seems like) today is gonna be sunny (sunblock where is sunblock).

listening to Mr. Right by A rocket To the Moon. idk but i love when it repeatedly says girlfriend, boyfriend (is it just me?)


enough said for today. ciao.
xx
audrey

let me give your heart a break

hola! just wanna tell you that i miss blogging so damn much. been so busy with stuffs from college *clears my throat* hehe i'm a college student, remember? i'm currently having midterm right now and i have videography and creative thinking tomorrow, wish me luck!! *crossing fingers* and ugh this creative thinking's task is about to freaking me out. well, not that hard actually but i just um what to call this, well idk i'm just having stress tehee. i dont really into my group honestly but yeaa i should, shouldn't i? mind my words i'm just over-brainstorming. wish me luck!!!! hey i'm having instagram right now, go check and follow audreyandt 
uh oh and my sister is having her ner new hobby which is talking to 'Talking Tom', which is an app when you can talk and he will talk what you talked to him and you'll go talking each other. lol. what an explanation.


have a nice day, buddies!
love
drey

let the story tells

....
...
HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.
this. is. the. longest. time. i. haven't. touched. this. blog. since.
i miss what i'm doing rite now. like. xo. much. (using x instead of s. just to make it more excessive)
typing, blogging while letting my ears relax by listening to my favorite songs, the sounds of pouring rain which is really give my mind spa time... aah me and wifi quality time....
haven't i told you? that i'm a college student now? i mean, i rally am a college student! i've passed those orientation week (i mean month. ugh.), be a very weird or nerd person by wearing those boring white and black uniform (oh seriously), keep your mouth sealed on those 'angry seniors' moment... anddd surprisingly those have been passed succesfully (oh of course the sighs included). and now i'm PURE a normal college student of university of indonesia! (how that sounds to you, eh? i'm typing this with a big smile on my face. srsly) SO HAPPY.

i'm very very happy to be at home again (home is heaven, rite?). i've experienced those homesick moments and that's very make me sick. and i love love my pap so much for the super high speed home's wifi. i can download a 700 mb movie with only 30 minutes. *kiss my pap* uh, oh! and yesterday is september, 20th guys. know what? MY BIRRRRTHDAY! I'M 18 NOW O EM GEE. unbelievable, yea i know. so sad i should celebrate that happy day with my loneliness at my dorm by listening to voice notes my best friends gave to me.... so sad. but thank youuu for all of you who still saved the date. and for every wishes, i really really appreciated it! *insert smooches here*

i want to tell you a lot of stories but it's always hard for me to write down if i'm not in the mood. so, maybe next time uh-kay?! everyone wishing me best of luck for going thru my first college's year pleaseee ;);)
btw i'm listening to rock that body by bep while typing this *i have a little clubbing here. lol*

xxxxxxxx
audrey

God's plan is always better

currently listening: i won't say (i'm in love) - Disney, Hercules

 feel so sorry for my blog which i haven't touch in month. don't know why but i'm not in the mood for post anything these past few days. but don't worry cause i'm here now! i just checked my email too this morning (since 32756350 days haven't touch it) and found a sweet surprise : Veren Lee commented on my blog! omagah i'm sooo happy! if you're not knowing her, go check her blog and find out how cool her style is. i'm a fan!

oh and by the way, i'd like to say HAPPY FASTING to all moeslem's readers! may we could pray better than the last Ramadhan, Allah forgive our sins and accept our fast and prayers amen ☺ this is our third day of fasting and there are still 27 days to go to reach the goal. wish i can do my best and get the blessing of this glorious month!

i realized that time flew so fast! it's like flipping your hand and tadda it is a half of 2013 and 5 months later we're gonna meet the new year of 2014. i mean hey, i feel like i just through this year yesterday. all the had works, do many tasks to prepare national exam, the last time together with classmates, register on university, all the fears to not pass national exam well, graduation, acceptance in fave university, reunion with classmates, and yadda yadda. all of them is what i've been through in the last 7 month of 2013 and i feel like... it happens! can't thank God enough, i feel blessed. 7 months ago, i still woke up at 5, prepare anything for school, wore grey-white uniform, met friends at school, studied and laughed at class, went home, did homeworks, and anything normal students do for highschool. and i'm like.... an abnormal who enjoyed her very-long-but-gonna-meet-it-ends-in-the-next-couple-days holiday and missing her classmates like crazy. lmao.

i just still can't believe it. we all know that God's plan is always better, but i just knew it right now. i never ever dreamed to live these months like this, but God does. like, when the first time i sat on 12th grade i'm way so scared of national exam (and it's 20 package of questions). i can't even imagine how could i pass it that well and now? i passed it. to be a part of yellow jacketers is always be a dream of me since i saw my cousin did her task in her room for faculty of economy of university of indonesia. um i forget how old i was that day, is it 8? let's just say i was in 2nd grade of elementary school that time. and the dream get bigger when i was in 10th grade in senior high school and had university visit to ui. i adore their building, their very large library, their green park, their....ah everything. and it's like dream comes true to be accepted in the university. i feel so blessed. God loves me and so do i. i should be more grateful over all things He gave to me in life. and stop sigh-ing hihi.



p.s: thanks Allah, i love You.


love,
audrey

p.s. i love you

i'm in love with romance movies. you've known about that, don't you? like what horoscope always say, virgo is such a romantic person hahaha. maybe that's why i smile randomly or bite my lips when i read or watch that 'sweet' part in books or movies (of course, drey. everyone must do that too, no?) i'm currently addicted to download old movies these times. yesterday i just downloaded P.S. I Love You by reading an article of best 20 romance movies. and gosssh i should recommend you this one because it really really sweets (with 's' because the sweetness is too much haha). i can't stop tears falling down my cheeks when i watch the first part of the movie. omg. the story tells about a woman's struggle to move on from her lovely husband who has passed away after lived together in 10 years. the woman named Holy, have no idea how her life would be without her husband beside hers. she just doin' nothing but singing and watching romance movie all days until her family came to her apartment to give her birthday presents on her born day. but her husband is the sweetest. he is like know that Holy can't do anything without him so, he decided to send her wife letters day by day and give her signs to do her daily life as usual. and finally her spirits all raised up again! she can walk through her 'new life' with positive way of thinking.

my favorite line of the movie:
Holy: every morning i wake up and the first thing i want to do is to see your face.

and noow i'm downloading another sweet movie called 50 days of summer! seems like everyone talked about this and i will feel like i'm such a nerd to not knowing this trend lol. and it almost reach 100% and i can't hardly wait to watch the movieee asdfghjkl. i'll tell you after watching it okay ;)


p.s:
* i've watched Refrain and do thrifting books as i've said in my latest post and geezwut? i've done that in one day. hi hip hurray!!!! and i got my first time using that famous transjakarta ahaha. well, so last year rite? nevermind, it makes me happy :D
** tomorrow my class gonna have bbq party and i've prepared 3 puddings for the dessert (yea at least i'm good at making pudding uh.)


happiness is that simple, right?

xoo,
drey

today, i'm....

i'm currently reading Lupus novel right now and it easily make me get addicted. eventho' it is really old novel but i still loove the whole story. the genre of Lupus novel is actually more humorous but we can find some serious blabs, the means of friendship, love story, high school, and so on. i read it from ebook since i only have two novels of it :( (which is very old since it was the heritage from my cousin and the paper can broke easily) Lupus novel came up from two different storyline, when he was kid or the Small Lupus and when he was grown up or Lupus. i like them both!! the way Lupus treat her girlfriend really makes me got envy. i even wonder if i have a boyfriend, he must be at least humorous like Lupus (and don't forget his coolest way on chewing gum). i can laugh until my stomach aches but sometimes you can see the tears flow down by my cheek just by read the novels. i'm thinking to have another series of Lupus' books but still have dilemma with my wallet condition (if you know what i mean). but i promise myself to add another Lupus novels into my books rack *pinky promise*

well, i played badminton with my friends from the first grade in high school at indoor gor. well, that didn't goes well as i'm predicted since i got soooo annoyed (don't ask me why. just. don't.) but after got my head (and heart) cold, i'm feeling way better :) the key is "don't listen to other, just believe in yourself". well, i'll make sure myself to keep that words inside my head everywhere and anytime i go! i will never let anyone mess my day just by acting trashy *inhale exhale*

p.s: i still have another dilemma, between watching Refrain or thrifting books. which one you think the best to go first?


enjoy your 3 months free, dear third graders (oops should i call you college students wanna be? :b)


drey,
xxo

talk that talk

hello. i finally back to blogging! how's life everyone? mine was not pretty good enough since i have a very long holiday but have nothing to do. but hoping yours is better :) firstly i want to congratulate myself to (finally) becoming a part of my fav university ever. yeap, i am the yellow jacket-gonna-be now! let's shout out loud 'hip hip hooooooorraaaaaaaay'. oh dear, you don't know (or maybe know) how superb happy i was that day when i opened the ui website, signed in, click the 'result selection', and finally see the 'Congratulation, you are accepted in University of Indonesia'. i can't breathe in seconds, just stared at my laptop's screen and when i got back my consciousness i automatically screaming like 'MOOOOM, I GOT IN MOM! I GOT IN UI!' and my mom when that time was about to pray ashar ran to get me and asked 'really?' after i nodded in, she hugged me tight and congratulated me. heheheh. eh, i really don't mean to show off or whatever you think i'm doing by telling you this good news. i just. i'm just about to write in my blog since i haven't touch it in ages *excessive* and the first thing came across my mind is this news. so i just type it here as what my mind asking me to hehehe. well, i can say i'm a bit relief this time because i don't need to join sbmptn or you can call that a written test to enter university. you don't know how many people who gonna join this test since this sbmptn is open to this year, a year ago, and 2 years ago alumnus of senior high school who haven't got the university. WHOA. i can't never thank God enough for this precious gift. BUT, for all my friends who study very hard for this test, my prayers goes to you all. hope you all can be the part of your favorite university, amen!

talking about friends, me and my friends had a plan to have an exchanging gift. yap but it should be handmade, no buy stuffs! it's our agreement to make the gifts by our own hands to exchange. it can shaped as a frame, pop up card, scrapbook, or anything handmade (sounds so fun, eh?) the reason behind this all is  because we're not gonna meet for a long time since we will separate into different university, so we have to have at least one thing to keep remember that we still have best friends out there. ugh so sad :( but the good side is i've done mineee!! i've made my special gift and it's shape is........ still a secret :b wait until the date is coming guys ;b ;b i can't hardly wait actually!

ah, talking about 'can't hardly wait', i have a list for that. and here's my can't-hardly-wait list:
to hangout with friends and exchanging gifts
to do a movie marathon (refrain, after earth, fast & furious 6, and any movies, come to momma deaaar)
to come to jakcloth
to life my self as college students (yes, yes, i can't wait)
to buy the newest edition of comic conan and my sweet kaichou (told you that i'm a comic maniac, yes?)
to buy old comics which is on sale in mall near my city
to re-watch SAO or Sword Art Online. i just really adoooore Kirito-kun besides Usui and Shinichi. oh, i love cool guys!! (have i told you that i'm an anime maniac too? if no, well, i'm telling you now :D>)
to download the next episodes of Slam Dunk (nah, this is my newest hobby rite now. Slam Dunk is my favorite anime gonna-be! yip yippiee)
to re-read some old novels and comics. (i like to re-read books when it is holiday and i get my bored life, just so you know. as long as it is not encyclopedia or any subject's books, it'll be all ok. usually, it is novels and comics. and you know what? i've done all ilana tan's books by  re-read it all only 4 days and each books i can done with only 3 until 4 hours before sleep. am i great, no?)
to see any comments you left in any entries i've typed :)

and things that make me happy these few days is: my comic collection reaches the number of 230! and still counting baby, do not need to worry ;)

okok, i think this is all i can say haha. tell me, how's your days so far? oh, and Happy Isra' Mi'raj day to moeslems all over the world!!

"Succes is that old ABC- Ability, Breaks and Courage." - Charles Luckman

ciao,
drey

inspiration

just realized that i've never have a 'permanent' inspiration in life, so far. i have ever inspire Ayuzawa Misaki who is the main character of my lovely comic 'My Sweet Kaichou' with her strength and high self confident to face anyy problems she had. and also to always be yourself because people will love you for who you really are, right? you should her the comic, it's so funny! and the guy main character is soooo asdfgjkl handsome omg.

but it is not the real one, i mean she's not real. i want to find my inspiration in a person, who live in a real world. i love to suffering internet and found many fashion bloggers, both local and international. and i waaay love to see their different fashion style. i have many lists of my fav fashion bloggers but i only inspire one of them a lot. she is the great Diana Rikasari!

here she is! the pretty, Kak Di :)

i adore her so much. she owned 2 shoe brands and the shoes are all beautiful. i want to buy one of their heels for my ceremony graduation but it has 14 working days to arrive at my door since i need it for the next 7 days. poor me ;(
she is such a suppa creative person  i've ever seen (not in person, only in blog)! and the most thing i like from her is she is BRAVE enough to be DIFFERENT. she is not afraid to wear any 'weird' look even she got many bad judges from 'unresponsible-big-mouths' and brave enough to judge to the right things. i like that! she always have little things to be happy with in many hard things to face in life. she through it happily and ended it well too. i love to read her life journey to be as great as now, and that things reallyyy inspire me :') and when it goes to her husband, oh gosh both of them are the sweetest! read her blog to approve it.

i realized that i'm just a girl who 'sigh'-ed much more than thanked Allah for what i have now. and i love her mind set in this post: here to click

things to remember:
when you see other people's fortunate life, don't just look up at theirs and adore them without do anything to change your life as better or more than them. it's a poor thing. go grab anything beside your hands and make magic with it! there's only a rainbow after thunderstorm right? you just have to find your own rainbow and remember, the way is not always go smoothly, sometimes it's complicated or maybe windy but if you try hard, believe that you'll find the best! cheer up ^^v

"Always have God in your heart, and you shall never worry too much." - Diana Rikasari

xoxo, 
audrey

don't grow up. it's a trap!

good news! i've passed those mess' (re: national exam) a week ago and it's a relief i feel inside my heart now. WHOPS not all relief. i haven't know what kind of score i'm gonna see in my report card of last semester yet. and well, i wanna share about that famous national exam in this year, 2013. i thought this is the worst nat-exam that have ever been happened in indo (if you know what i mean, indonesians). we have 20 package kind of questions which means we really are NOT allowed to cheat with the others. ups it's not the end until there, the question and answer sheet are in one package so to answer the question, we have to tear it up first. i mean, oh c'mon! 20 package of questions is more than enough to mess our brain and heart all up and down... but it didn't make matter since i've passed it (hopefully) well and swear to god  i'm going to enjoy my gonna-be-loooooong holiday now :) *thanks for all the prayers dear readers*

oh well, and today is zella's birthday! she is turning 18th today and i'm like 'oh c'mon dude, i just took a photo for my identity card of legitimatilly an indonesian and she is already 18!' time flew too fast baby. but after all, i had a good day. we ate pizzas and blew the candles (not we but she is) and walked and walked and sang in karaoke and back home. i gave her my handmade as a gift and i guessed she likes it *glad* can't wait for the next good day :)

but i feel like there's something missing here. i miss my all classmates like so much. we finally ended up being 12th graders. we are not required to study in our class anymore. no more homeworks, no more cheat, no more laugh in class, no more nag from teachers, no more fight, no more. oh so sad :,( before this, we want everything goes fastly, just for not doing assignments, studying, and yadda yadda. but after all have passed, we want it back again (not we maybe but especially me). i miss all the time, the memories. yap the memories. it will only be memories to keep in mind, will never be replayed. oh shittttt i hate to grow up. i've ever seen someone's quote said "don't grow up, kid. it's a trap" and i just realized it's a true. yes it is absolutely a trap :(

p.s:

florish

florish by audreyanindita featuring studded handbags

Warehouse long sleeve cardigan
$58 - warehouse.co.uk

Floor length skirt
$23 - newlook.com

Rupert sanderson shoes
rupertsanderson.com

Valentino studded handbag
yoox.com

Cashmere shawl
chanluu.com

things learned

i learned many things today. let's check it one by one.

first, don't be a mushroom. don't be a parasite. they can't live without another creature they suck into. well, you don't know how it feels when you wasted most of your time just to wait that person but that person left you, with anothers. you really give your honest trust for that person, but it's like 'who cares?' sigh.it is dissapointing. really. and that remains only regret. 'why didn't i go first?' 'why that person left me?' 'why should i wait?' that's only the left question in mind.

second, life changes and so does people. i knew this since loooooong time ago but just felt it now. i have that one friend that i gave my trust into. let's just call that person Y (bcs it's not my X :b)  i shared my stories, laughed together, and more. but now Y changed. not like the old one. not a person i comfort with anymore. i feel like afraid if Y beside me. it scares me a lot if i talk with Y. i'm afraid if Y offended by my words and turned to attack me with more spicy words, when i didn't really mean it (just kidding). i'm a sensitive (told ya) i really hate it if i had that friend who doesn't like me and didn't give me the whole reason why. i'm gonna wondering evvvverythin' abt my manner with him/her in mind. 'what have i done?' 'did i do something wrong?' 'shit i did it' 'what should i do now?' 'everyone must be hate me bcs of it' 'ugh stupid audrey' and since i'm not good at apologizing, that'll ruin every little sec of my life :( :( i don't wanna be that girl who cries over the smallest things. but if it connected with buddies i love to cuddle with, i'm gonna cry like spongebob when he was being ignored by her grandma.

third, i'm wondering how my college would be if i can't do anything myself . but that really doesn't mean anything since i haven't even graduated from high school lol.



wish me luck!!!
a thinker,
xxx

liebster award

yippie yeay! i got my first liebster award from my superb buddy: zahara (thank you and love you babe) i got this since jan 3th 2013, but i just have a chance to post like right now. to be accepted of this award is you have to answers some questions from the one who gave you the award.


here it is, the requirements that must be followed:
thanking who has given this award and include the link in your post
write 11 random things about you
answer 11 questions the same people who love this award
share this award to 11 other bloggers who have followers less than 200. put their links in your post. be sure you know them if you love award.
create 11 questions to 11 bloggers who you nominate :)

okay i've thanked zahara for this award and then let's continue with 11 random things about me.
i am a bookworm. i love books. a looot. i don't know how my life would be without book beside me bfr sleep. i have my own world when reading books soo it's no offens guise.
dreamer. when one day you see me laugh or smile or cry alone, it doesn't mean that i need a doctor or what, it's my book who made me have million of hallucinations. well, but i love it.
i'm your grandma. i forgot things a lot (sorry)
a romantic. i love the part when Hercules told Hera, "people gettin crazy when they're in love" and ran after it to save Hera's life. that's just too sweet i can't help.
a consultant. i love to give advices for my fiends prob. it just nice seeing the smile of the one you love appear after their tears by hearing your suggest.
love my sister more than brother. sorry brad
blogwalkers. watch out i'm your stalkers lol!
love maroon 5, justin bieber, katy perry, dev, and other american singers
moody (sorry for this)
i wanna be an American since i love all their movies. most faforite movies: harry potter and twilight saga.


and the questions are:
1. what are your reasons for blogging? to share. it's nice to write down all you know and let anyone know abt it too.
2. any kind of blog contents? many. most of them are my diaries, some pictures, random quotes, etc etc.
3. when did you first start blogging? forgooot (yesh a grandma). i alrd made 2 blogs bfr this one, but i forgot the password. but i made this blog on feb 2011.
4. your first post on the blog? my first post usually abt the introducing of my blog. the link
5. if you have time blogging routine or what you like instead? random. i post when i want to.
6. posting on your blog that your own work or copy and paste from another site? bcs mostly the contents of blog are my 'dear diary' of course i made it myself. but some of pictures i took from google and tumblr
7. you know all your blog followers? not at all. i know some of them who are my friends and the half of it i just knew from the comments on my blog.
8. how many blogs do you follow? what makes you follow a blog? manyyy. if i like their post i'll do follow them. most of them are fashion bloggers :>
9. no ads on your blog? if there is why you put ads on your blog? if there is not, why do not you want to advertise on your blog? no. not interest either hehe.
10. how many blog do you have? (give the link if the blog is more than one) and what is the most active blogs? 3 but the two of it i can't find the link (maybe it's alrd deactive) so i just have one blog and this is the most active blog (;
11. congratulations. thank youuuuuuu <3



aaand the lucky persons i'll give this award to are:
1. naira aulia rahmaputri
2. ditha pratiwi
3. amalia widyasari
4. yuyun apriyani
5. dita kusuma wardani
6. saskia nurul fitri andini
7. annisa qarima puspita
8.
9.
10.
11.

here are the questions for them:
1. why do you love blogging?
2. from who you know about blog world?
3. who is your fav blogger(s)?
4. what country do you like the most and gimme the reason!
5. how many blogs do you follow?
6. do you like reading? what kinds of books do you like to read?
7. describe your life-wanna-be from movie and the reasons why ( like 'i wanna be Bella Swan in twilight because she's so lucky to be loved by 2 hot guys in the world' )
8. what is your fav songs?
9. if you were given i wish, what would it be?
10. what's your life quotes?
11. who is your inspiration?

p.s: wish me luck for the national exams pleaseeee
xxxo

i'm (almost) done

so i'm done with schools final exams. wait, it doesn't mean i'm free. there are still some of practice exams and national exams i have to face. you don't know how i want to have time machine to make time flew fastest. but well it's all about the process. all the goals means nothing if you didn't feel the process. well, everything instant will gone instant too. so here i am. trying to enjoy all things that God given me. eventho' it is hard. really. i 'sigh-ed' much more than 'thanked' *forgive me God* :(

well, sorry guys for always read all this boring life of me. all i talked was always about the exams and exams. sorry but this thing is what fullfiled my head for these few months and nothing can't help but to pour it into my blog (bcs i'm too lazy to write it in my own diary). hope you're fine with that : )


xxxxxxxx

WHOAAAA

if i were able to scream out loud as the title mentioned, it'd be veryyy nice (srsly). i'm having tryout from today until the next 2 days (include saturday.....) hang on, brain!!! idk why but knowing i'm in the 12th grade now is even not enough to motivate me to study harder and harder :( (so sad) 2 days ago, me and my friends just had a motivation seminar from a motivator. he's greaaat! he told us not to study in night but in 1/3 of night and do pray tahajjud diligently and i was so excited! it was succesfull for me to do that 2 nigths bfr but it didn't work last night (got oversleep omg) and wish me luck for tonighttt.

oh! and i just registered sbmptn (it's like university entrance test) but haven't do the finalization. THIS is what really makes me confused all the time! this is gonna be my future if i were accepted in one of the universities i've been registered. so i should think over 1000 times to choose which one is the best for me and..... i did finally. bless me, god!

all the 12th grade things are just so complicated! i never though bfr that entrancing university is as hard as this *sigh* just fyi, you have to do your hardest work on this and never play with your choice! no no no! think twice or 100 0r 10000 or maybe a billion times bfr choose before you regret on it.

todays whispers: dear all readers, can you please pray for me for the next national exam? i'd very bery bery appreciate it if you would do and thanks before :)


p.s: for you, who have messed my heart up and down thank you :)

di-ar-i-way

tragic

really dont know how should tell, but this is really a tragic moment i've had in the first month of nu year. a few days ago, exactly on saturday night january 26th 2013 my highschool was burned. it's likely 30% maybe? idk exactly but one row building is completely gone. there are likely 6 rooms which is burned a few days ago. i (and all my friends) got shocked that day. our school... i just had fitness time the day before, and on saturday it dissapeared. i was shock and sad. it's like i can't believe this!!

on sunday, all the students (include the alumnus) come and helped us to clean our school from the debris. we're all so sad but it can't turn our spirit down to tidy the school. but our headmaster is the best like ever! he told us not to despair and give up. we have to rise from the sadness and keep our spirit up!!! and our school twitter acc made a tagline "We Will Move On Immediatelly, Smanda" which is just so touched :'):') 

well, i just hope for the best with this disaster and learn the good things from this. yesssh, we gotta move on immediatelly!!

xx